welcome back home

It’s May again, which means it’s National Masturbation/Radical Self Love Month again. Welcome!

Whenever I talk to folks about this blog project, or about May being National Masturbation Month, at first they laugh, and then they make a joke — like, “Well, I’m all ready for that month!” I think, what if we didn’t have to joke about it? What if we could talk about our self-loving practices like they were as important — as hot and as complicated — as all the other sex that we have?  What if masturbation weren’t funny — or, well, only funny?

I don’t have an orgasm to tell you about, today. Maybe later. Today, my self love has looked like a walk in the sun, some playtime with the pup, and a lunch pieced together out of an all-but-empty refrigerator. For some other sorts of self-love stories, check out the brilliances at the M blog. A group of bloggers has gathered to come alone and write together.

I’ve gone back and forth about a daily orgasm/writing practice again this year — after last May, I felt flattened: too exposed, too excavated, too much. So what am I doing here, then?

I’m inspired. Inspired by the folks at the M Blog. Inspired by Shilo McCabe and her gorgeous “I Masturbate” photo exhibit. Inspired by Barbara Wynne and her work Liberating Desire. Inspired to dig deeper into the complications of my own healing work around desire. Honestly, I’m inspired by my fear — the writing I did last year, and sharing it publicly: that scared me. Dorothy Allison tells us to write to our fear — and so I’m following her advice. Again.

So, let’s go in. How has your year of self-love been? Are you taking on a daily self-love practice this month? It doesn’t have to be an orgasm a day — but it might be. It doesn’t have to be masturbating every day — but if that’s a place where you could use some tenderness and heat and healing, maybe every other day? Once a week?

Be good to you, and good to that amazing body you’ve got. Welcome back. Let’s continue our practice around coming back home into these skins of ours.